“Dime el tema de tu tesis y te diré de qué careces” repitió Mariano Fernández durante todo el semestre en el que fui su alumna.
“Relaciones de poder entre los géneros y su influencia en las manifestaciones de violencia en las relaciones de noviazgo adolescente” le contestaría yo, aunque en realidad es el tema de mi aún incompleto anteproyecto.
Y es que ahora veo que dejar atrás este tema significa haberlo enfrentado todo, completo, afrontando cada detalle, cada cosa que golpea...
La violencia y el abuso sexual son temas que la mayoría van a reprobar si se les pregunta por su opinión al respecto.
Pero yo, yo odio a los “macho” men, por ejemplo, por más sutil que sea su forma de externarlo… y lo peor es que los encuentro por todos lados, están por donde quiera que pase...
Me escalofría un pleito entre maes por una mujer o un partido de fútbol…
Me da tristeza (de esa de verdad, de esa que cala) ver a las chicas tan orgullosas de su implante de senos (en los que se asemejan a Yayita la novia de Condorito) que viven en función de ellos…
Y entonces me pienso sola, desubicada, no se si estoy en el lugar o en la época equivocada, pero los encuentros entre géneros me son tan ajenos…
Lo que cada uno busca es tan distinto! Veo a las “disparejas” (porque solo así los podría nombrar) y encuentro que se piensan cerca pero la verdad mientras uno habla desde el polo norte el otro se encuentra en el polo sur.
Por qué no abandonar cada uno esos lugares –que de por sí son tan fríos y desolados- y optar por irse a vivir juntos al trópico?
He planteado tantas respuestas a esto, y la verdad ninguna me termina de convencer… Tal vez porque el problema no sea de convencimiento, sino de deseo. Cuánto me encantaría tener respuesta para el cuándo o el cómo las cosas van a cambiar…
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Y con mi puenta de vista tan distinta, de una cultura distinta, un género distinto y escribiendo now in a different language, i take up my electronic 26-keyed pen instead of my tried and true paper and pencil (not even a pen)and enter into the electronic age. And what a strange age it is in which we live...
I feel the same so often... "desubicada: en la época equivocada", living in a world of 'implantes' y 'pleitos'. One one sense, it's always been this way, only with different cultural contexts but the idea behind each remains: Men need a battle to fight; Women need to feel beautiful.
I propose that neither of these are in and of themselves a bad thing; only severly mishandled, misconstrued and mistakenly manifested in the society in which we live. But give me the chance to explain before i am assigned the title 'machista' or chauvinistic.
Men need a battle to fight. They always have and always will. If a man does not have a battle to fight, he will find one. The problem? Where are all the dragons to slay, castles to storm, and maidens to rescue? One cannot simply take up a broadsword and charge the hills and call it a days' work. Our battles have changed; the hearts of men are the same. And just like all throughout history, there are valient battles and there are those fought for personal gain. There are the Joan of Arcs, the William Wallaces, the Aragorns, and yet there seem to be an overwhelmingly growing number of the second type. These men have no great battle to fight.
Few men these days find battles worth fighting for. Yet as i said before, ALL men will find a battle to fight. And so many take up the sword for their favorite soccer team, their politics, thier climb up the corporate ladder, live vicariously through sports, movies, videogames... or worse, they take up the sword AGAINST... thier son, their daughter, their wife.
Even a bored man must have a battle to fight, for in this meaning is given to life. It is written into the heart of every man. It is essential. Not that women do not have their own battles to fight, i am only saying that there is something dangerous written into the hearts of men, and when properly channeled, life is given.
And yet, there remain a few men who find truly great battles.
Some men have their eyes opened to great causes that have been and may always be; poverty, sickness, and the oppression of the weak. These are also worthy causes that take every ounce of strength a man has been given.
Some battle for their hearts of their beloved. This is done in prayer, in word, in thought, in deed... doing all that is possible to heal old wounds from older boyfriends and past lovers that have left scars. These men build trust, tear down the walls that separate, and win the heart of the princess in order to lead on into the shared adventure known as life.
Women need to feel beautiful. Made of a different substance than man, the heart of a woman is not so much fierce as wonderfully seductive, inviting, and kind. Not to say that the heart of a woman is not a dangerous place, because it most definitely is. Few men dare to enter, i mean REALLY dare to enter.
Most men seem to seek a woman to 'fulfill' a need, to get what they want. They know that there is beauty there, but instead of nourishing and growing and sharing, they take it for a time and leave it behind, scarred, burning, and used.
The heart of almost every woman i have met has been injured by a man who has chosen the wrong battle to fight, thinking that their greatest battle was to 'get her to like me'. That is only where the battle begins, when a man commits to protect, defend, and give all that he has for the heart of a woman. The injuries come from many sources; and abusive father, a cheating boyfriend. The message seems to come out somewhat the same. You're not good enough. There is something dirty about your sexuality. You are not worth fighting for. You are not beautiful. And so the scars grow deeper.
Women are taught that they are worth what they look like. And so lives are lived through "un implante de senos", through confidence in the physical form. Possibly throwing themselves at a man in hopes that she will be loved, or taking control herself; taking pleasure from the conquering of a sexual parter or two or three or fifteen.
And so it goes. Men are scared to fight real battles. Women are taught that all they have to offer is their body.
Are we left without hope?
No.
There are some men who will battle for the heart of a woman. Thier worth does not come from their favorite team, the size of their muscles, or their salary, and it is reflected in how he interacts with the world, how a life is lived
There are some women who are inviting, beautiful inside and out, and sensual, and yet not to the point of being sexual. They know their worth comes from something other than their measurements, and this is reflected in how she interacts with the world, how a life is lived.
So what do we do?
We spread the word. There is more to live for.
And we wait. We wait for the valient and venerable prince, the independent and inviting princess. We will settle for no less. We have been down that road and we know where it goes. We will wait. We will abandon our petty battles and our preocupations with outward beauty and meet somewhere in between; we will "abandonar cada uno esos lugares –que de por sí son tan fríos y desolados- y optar por irse a vivir juntos al trópico". We will wait. We will wait.
-Mark
Si, el comentario fue demasiado largo, entonces, tuve que crear mi propio blog :)
Demasiado bueno este texto... me estaba perdiendo de un gran blog.
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